i close my eyes, and..pray.

Nov 26, 2017
growth and life

it is the intangible that is most powerful: faith, love, hope, meaning, purpose, fear, hatred, desires, lust, beliefs, perceptions, values, character, identity. we can't see love, does that mean it doesn't exist? we cant measure hope, we cant quantify purpose, we dont quite know what fears we have. we can be so observant about the world but within we havent searched the depths. science is about improving people's lives? how does science give us meaning and purpose to life? how does science resolve our fears and worries? how can science restore broken relationships? how can science fill up the sick sense of emptiness in our gut everyday as we deal with things that don't go our way or people that we can't get along with? how can science give a sick dying person enough hope to live on? how can science, ever, ever, justify our existence??

Posted at 12:15 am by mickyfoo
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Nov 25, 2017
God's confession on the cross

"I love you so much I am willing to die for you." and His actions speak louder than words. Demonstrated the extent of his love. Showed us who He is and showed us who we are.

Posted at 11:46 pm by mickyfoo
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Nov 19, 2017
God is showing us a life without Him

love how God is merciful and slow to anger. love how God gives us free will to choose Him - how does a Father feel not getting response from his children? love that He does it for His glory. all His, and very rightfully so. love that He doesn't intervene evil but overcome it more so. isn't it wonderful? justice is His. giving us the power which frees us from the shackles and bondage. i am okay with being weak because God is strength. i am okay with being foolish because God is wise. i am okay with not knowing all the answers because God is all-knowing. what does that teaches me? who should I lean on? myself or God?

Posted at 11:57 am by mickyfoo
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Nov 8, 2017
stop looking at your phone

who are you waiting for -? why does your world crumble for each broken failed relationship? i need to put things in perspective. its not the end of the world. like what i heard from yesterday, where is your faith girl? you have faith in love but love disappoints you so many times. am i running away from the problem or is the problem running after me? reminding me of the previous hurt and good times, or the rejection, or the possibility that a better person has caught your eye.

stop checking your phone just means stop stepping off the cliff and taking the leap, hoping to fall into anyone's arms. it just means your security doesnt lie in fairy tale.

and i need to add in here: God feels rejection from people from the start to end. people who forgo Him in their lives and hate Him, rebelled against Him, insulting Him and mocking fun of Him, those who broke His heart. won't He understand better than anyone of us? who can feel His pain? can we?

Posted at 04:42 pm by mickyfoo
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Oct 31, 2017
living a hypocritical life

it's so hard to live an authentic life. how do i value truth above this hypocritical life. To be real.. to say I can't when I can't.. to say I don't know when I don't... To say I have done wrong when I have done wrong.. To accept responsibility and the consequences.. everytime that nagging feeling of a lie gets suppressed, because i am evading truth.. worst still, if it is just to create a false image. What is man that one should lose his identity and roleplay someone different. are we actors? are we in a drama? who are we acting for?

Posted at 05:32 pm by mickyfoo
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Oct 29, 2017

Assumptions about God: he will not help even if I ask, he will not grant me the understanding even if I ask, he has not let me experience Him for reasons I don’t know, he has left me because of the sins and rebellion in me; I am not saved yet; I am not a born-again believer yet; he is not working in my life and sanctifying me; he has not helped me be free for I am still enslaved by sinful thoughts; I am not genuine and sincere in praying; I don’t have the heart to pray because God doesn’t give me the heart to pray; I don’t feel like a Christian; I don’t feel any way different before and now; has God really revealed himself to me; why doesn’t God talk to me through his word; why is He ignoring me; why is my faith so weak; why is my desire so little; where is my Joy?

Posted at 01:26 am by mickyfoo
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Oct 23, 2017

because worship anything else other than God only brings us pain. when we really choose Him, thats love.

Posted at 11:47 am by mickyfoo
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Sep 3, 2017
the perfect wisdom

The matchless wisdom of His ways, That mark the path of righteousness; His word a lamp unto my feet, His Spirit teaching and guiding me. And oh, the mystery of the cross, That God should suffer for the lost So that the fool might shame the wise, And all the glory might go to Christ! Oh grant me wisdom from above, To pray for peace and cling to love, And teach me humbly to receive The sun and rain of Your sovereignty. Each strand of sorrow has a place Within this tapestry of grace; So through the trials I choose to say: "Your perfect will in your perfect way."

Posted at 07:11 am by mickyfoo
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Aug 31, 2017
to whoever

prayed when i was young, prayed for miracles. who was I praying to? God. why? because i was helpless. how did I know there was a God? I don't, but I want to believe there is one. I needed Him. it was a cry to ease the brokenhearted, the weak and the lonely one. I wondered about the religious. I wondered about superstition. I wondered if there could be some truth in these beliefs. Not that I knew many. but there is this intriguing story of the cross, death, life. who really fits the image of Godliness? who really is the shepherd? to know we have fall short, all men are imperfect. to know we are discontented, unsatisfied, obsessed with so many things not worth obsessing over. to know we have disobeyed and once were lost, but now were found. to know we are broken, living in a polluted world, and we need reconciliation with one who is righteous and above all. to know of this word 'sacrifice' and what it meant. to know of an unselfish giving love that no man can imitate. to know what it means to be unworthy and undeserving of grace because we can see how unlovable we are. how many times we glorify ourselves instead of you. how unappreciative and ungrateful we are sometimes. how highly we think of ourselves when truly, our gifts come from you.

Posted at 04:34 am by mickyfoo
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Aug 21, 2017
you made me a, you made me a believer

going to bones and cells to search for the answers. going to fossils and dust to search for answers.
but it's fine because there's two ways of making sense of the world - outward and within demons.

Posted at 09:34 pm by mickyfoo
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